umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize