Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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