Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize