Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
