did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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