College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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