Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize