you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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