Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
