He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
