I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
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I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
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You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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