You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
