i just google imaged poop.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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