Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
