I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
