We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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