3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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