The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize