I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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