Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
