Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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