put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
