yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize