he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
