You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
