Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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