Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
