my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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