Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
as a side note pls kill me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
