I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My vagina is officially offended.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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