Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
