He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
