love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize