I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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