It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize