? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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