she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
There's even glitter on my cock...
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