Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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