He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
