don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Some milfs here doing some blow
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.