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• (818): View more from California

  don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.

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• (716): View more from New York

  The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"

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• (415): View more from California

  I'll probably hate you when I'm sober

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.

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• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could

  (216): View more from Ohio

  did she say where she was going

  (740): View more from Ohio

  apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars

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• (631): View more from New York

  After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch

  (1-631): View more from New York

  that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Some milfs here doing some blow

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Dad?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.

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• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (914): View more from New York

  hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early

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• (315): View more from New York

  The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.

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• (310): View more from California

  Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on

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• (915): View more from Texas

  The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced

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• (714): View more from California

  I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.

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