I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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