Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I puked a lego.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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