If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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