the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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