I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Found your dick twin last night
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
