I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
