Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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