I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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