When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
