All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
