I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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