What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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