I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
did i just pee glitter
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
