Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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