I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize