yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
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I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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