I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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