Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My legs feel like baby dolphins
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
