I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
