we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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