I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize