I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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