nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
