so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
