If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I will pee on everything he values.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I am one with the molecules
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
