is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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