but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize