my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and she was petting her beer can
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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